Tomorrow I turn 35. What does that really mean? For me, having had breast cancer, it means that 6 weeks from discovery to my birthday put me in a higher risk category. Really--the difference in percentages for recurrence without chemo was 13%. I am going to be pissed off if I wake up tomorrow without a hot flash or something. Does the body really know the difference in 6 weeks, or in a birth day? I think it is totally BS, but chemo starts on Friday and I am done rationalizing.
I am not sure how I feel about Friday. I go from denial (I will be fine, no problems), to panicking (am I going to vomit for a straight week?), to being scared (what if IT kills me, and not the cancer coming back), to just not thinking about it at all (I just had a nasty little old woman customer come in the store, and yes--I called her a name after she left).
Todd and I have to be there at 8:15 a.m., and should be done by 12:15 or so. Is it horrible that I am already thinking I am going to be jonesing for a smoke during the entire thing? Really--I am hoping that all of this makes ciggies taste horrible to me and I can quit for good. Don't place your bets, folks.
Nowhere to go but up.
About Me
- Krista
- I am married with a child, owned a swanky children's boutique for 7 years, and now have the illustrious titles of "Master Dreamer" and "Smorgasbord Director."
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